12 Months to Faith (44)
Wow it has been 30 days. So fast and so furious. I have to say that the last year has been a lot of learning about myself. You cannot do something like this and not realize some new things about yourself. The one thing I have learned is to really put on the breaks. It is so easy to be on this adrenalin rush and just skate through life with no meaning. I am sure glad I woke up and smelled the coffee on that one.
I am sure glad I am feeling very at peace with my belief system in my faith in Jesus. What an incredible example He gave us to live a life of love and compassion. He wasn't judgemental. He was kind. He is my everything. My faith is so precious to me and I guard it with all I have. I want people to see me and how I live and know that I love Jesus just because of how I am genuinely. I want my son to look at me and my life and say Wow Mom loved Jesus and she lived her life with compassion and dignity and love toward others.
I also have found that I was putting an enormous amount of pressure on fitness in my personal life. I was making it life or death. There is some truth in that but it felt like I had a gun to my head if I didn't work out. Not the way I want to live. I workout because I enjoy it and I love the way it makes me feel. I am living as healthy of a life that I can within reason. That is good enough for me. No more pressure, just living healthy. I don't know if any of you relate to me about this but I sure feel better about it.
So in my quest to 12 months to something better, I never realized what that would mean to me. This has been a really intense growth period for myself. I am telling you all this in the hopes that it might touch and help someone else.
The reason I haven't wrote the last couple of weeks is because I have been going through such a big change. Quite frankly I didn't even know what to say. I came to the end of myself. What I mean by that is I have realized I have been just running through this life with my petal on the accelerator. Even when things got tough I just pushed through. I understand in some cases that could be a good thing, but not when you end up losing yourself in the process.
I have got to say, I mentally have put on the breaks. Part of me is sad that I have lost so much time, but I don't want to get stuck in the past either. Where I am at now is being mindful of where I am at. Stopping and enjoying every moment of every day and being present in that moment.
As many of you know I am a Christian, so with that reference I am going back to a book I studied a long time ago called the "Mind of Christ'. Jesus is my Lord and Savior and one of the most precious individuals to walk the face of this earth. So I am using that refrerence to help be the person now that I want to be. I have to say that I am more peaceful, relaxed and ok with whatever. I am a much nicer individual and I am more relaxed.
Also, in the quest of all of this I found out how much pressure I was putting on myself to workout and they were all for the right reasons but they were causing so much heartache and pressure for me. I know that I need to exercise for all of the reasons. I probably know too much and the consequences of not doing it. However, I just want to get back to where I want to exercise because it makes me feel good. My life is in God's hands and with me being mindful in that and relaxed I know I can trust Him and just enjoy my life.
I cannot believe I haven't blogged for an entire week. I send out my apologiez. I used to feel guilty about things like that, but I can honestly say it just couldn't of been helped. I am back though. It is the quality not the quanity that i am learning.
New International Version (NIV)
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, 2 because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you[a] free from the law of sin and death. 3 For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh,[b] God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering.[c] And so he condemned sin in the flesh,
It was so funny today listening to the Pastor at church. He showed a video at the beginning of the service about a cow that got his nose stuck in a bucket. How it ended up being a life threatening situation for the cow because everytime they tried to get it off the cow would flee. It took three days to get the bucket off. He laughted and said isn't funny how much trouble the cow got into because he stuck his nose into somewhere it didn't belong.
I think about that and the scripture above talking about condemnation. It is so easy to stick out nose in the wrong place. In other people's business. How much trouble we can get into doing that. But also, there is no condemnation for those that are in Christ Jesus. To me that scripture is saying keep your nose in Christ Jesus's Business and you will have no condemnation. It is all about what bucket you are sticking your nose in.
Some days you have to just throw you hands up and say, It is in your hands Lord. I guess I should do that everyday. I think sometimes I think I can do more for a certain situation that I can and I need to stop and just breath. There are so many scriptures about trust in the Bible. Trust in the Lord and the power of His Might. One of my favorite stories is about how Jesus was in a boat with his disciples. Jesus was sleeping below while the disciples were upstairs freaking out about the storm. When He finally came up Jesus looked at His disciples and said, Oh ye of little faith. I know that Jesus is always with me and yet I am like the disciples stil worrying about STUFF.
All I can do is live my life the best I can and I know that God has everything under control. He will always turn things for my good. If the Word of God says it then I have to believe it. He has proven Himeself to me over and over and brough me through. I have no doubt in Him or His love and ability to take care of me, my family, my business, my members, and all that I care about. I wouldn't know what to do if I didn't have that. Thank you Mom and Dad for giving me that gift of faith growing up. It is the best gift you could of ever given me.
This weekend has been a whirlwind of events. I finally just sat down and stopped to catch my breath. WOW! It was a great weekend however. My washing machine went down and i am waiting on a part to fix it, but the good news is i was able to take my laundry over to my parents house and spend some quality time with them while washing.
I have been taking my son to Tae Kwon Do to learn a lot of great life lessons as well as the physical activity. This place I am taking him is so very special. The owner who is an 8 degree black belt and his son run US Tae Kwon Do. Well we experienced my son's first testing for his next level up. This was such a well run, very inspiring event. It showed my son what accomplishment means with hard work.
Tonight we went to Awana for my son. It is a Christian ikids Bible Club. He had to memorize some verses and be tested on it to achieve his awards. It is such an inspiration. I had to put that in for my son. He asked me today, "Mommy why do we have to go to church." I told him, someday Elijah you are going to thank me. I told him that Mommy is giving him the most inportant gift that I received from my Parents. The Wisdom, Relationship and Truth of God. Also to know understand Him and His ways. It is the most precious gift that I could ever give you.
Tomorrow I am back to exercising and eating well. The one thing I am working for this week is to take 30 minutes of quiet time to myself. I didn't do so well on that last week so this is the week. I will do better at this.
I am so Hopeful tonight. A couple of weeks ago I was sitting having coffee with a girlfriend and her friend who I never met having some coffee. My friend's friend was sharing how frustrated she was with her son who had been in a lot of trouble. Immediately it struck me how overwhelmed she was and how unhopeful she and her son had been. It was almost like they had given up hope on their entire situation. I have got to say it has grieved me ever since.
I remember sharing with you how I went and listened to a bunch of teenagers from Cherry Creek. I have to say again it was so inspirational. The one thing they all shared was that there was no hope until there was and that was their turning piont. I have got to say I have been there with my older children as well as my younger son. We honestly cannot go there as parents. We have to trust God with their lives and believe and pray for them for GREAT things. They have to know that when they look in our faces we see them and we see how great they can be. I know it isn't easy. Believe me we have had our unbelievable struggles. We as parents need to be the HOPE, and give our kids the HOPE for them and their future.
The next time you see a child, smile and let them see the joy in their face that they are on this earth. That will speak louder than words. Each child and each person on this earth has a gift. Give the gift of life.
Sunday is the day that I always speak about my faith because it is such an important part of who I am. Not to offend anyone, I just cannot leave such an important part out of who I am. This last week has been a little bit of a hard week. As a Mom, it is natural to worry about your kids. Well that was exactly what I was doing and all of a sudden I was reminded of something. To Trust the Lord that everything is going to be ok with my son. To believe and pray that good things will happen. To pray for protection from harm. I can only do so much, then my faith must kick in. The Word of God says that if I have the faith of a mustard seed, I could move mountains.
I have to thank my older step-son, Derek, who is now a grown man with a successful career and living on his own. A few years ago things were not going so well for him. I was thinking back about how I had to put my faith out there with him to trust God with my step-son. By the way, I don't like the word Step-son, it seems so inpersonal. What I feel for Derek is something I can never explain. He is a very special person and I am so proud. Thank you Derek for the experience in the past. It has helped remind me how to get through what is now going on in my little boys life. I was reminded of that and because of you I have peace over my situation and I know that God will always come through.
I truly believe God brought us through that situation with my older son, and He will watch over and bring whatever comes my way with my younger son. All I need to do is to Trust in Jesus. He is the way, the truth and the life. I love you Derek and thank you for being in my life.
Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
I tell you this is the most inportant day for me to share with you. It is the day I talk about my faith. I went to church this morning and i was reminded about Lord being our redeemer. Our ever present help. Jesus is everything to me. Lately I have had some challenges and I haven't taken a minute to stop and just pray about it. He always helps me whenver I seek him first.
May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.
Jerusalem to Be Inhabited ] “This is what the LORD says— your Redeemer, who formed you in the womb: I am the LORD, the Maker of all things, who stretches out the heavens, who spreads out the earth by myself,
I know I have been talking about how I spoke to some children about knowing their top five. I will share my top two today:
1. I love Jesus with all of my heart. With everything that I have.
2. I absolutely love and adhore people. I see their hearts first. I truly want to help everyone see themselves they way that Jesus sees them. That is true happiness.
Today is Sunday, the day that I talk about me and my faith. I have been out of church service for a while. My Pastor of many years has retired and I have to say that I was heartbroken. It has taken me a while to find my new church home but I believe I finally have accomplished that. My son and I went to church this morning. My son went to Sunday school and I went to adult service. I have to say my son had the biggest smile on his face when I pickked him up. It was like he was home. When we got in the car he jumped up front and without saying anything just gave me a hug long hug. Then tonight we went to their Awana program that was so much fun. I am so relieved to finally be there.
The Pastor today spoke about how important prayer was. He pointed out that if your motivation for the prayer doesn't have the right motivation, it probably isn't in line with God's Word. I have to say that it felt soooo good to be back in church. To take the time to spend time with God and other believers at the same time is so uplifting and strengthening. These Church's are such special places. Let's just say I am finally back.
Today is my day to talk about my faith. I have to say that I was taking some time to think. I find that I really stress about my son and his well being. Well I had to have a talk with myself. I had to say to myself, If the Lord Jesus has brought me through so many things, why am I not having that faith for the well being of my son. I actually asked myself if I trusted Jesus with my son. The answer was Yes.
The other day my son was rearranging his room. He moved his night stand and the things that were on it. One of the things that he placed on his night stand was this little plastic statue of Jesus. I know this sounds crazy but in my heart that was just a sign that my son is going to be great in his faith. I cannot explain it. Maybe it is just a Mothers intuition. I hope.
It all comes back to what I believe. I believe that we are on this earth for just a short time. It is silly to be waisting it worrying about things that are probably never going to happen. I am such a faith person. Anywhere I am worrying, I need to stop and give it over to the one and only Lord Jesus. I know if He is on my side, no matter what, everything will be fine.